The DNC convention this past week got me thinking about some parallels between our election and the Game of Thrones universe. And the more I thought about it, the more connections I saw. If you haven’t watched the first 6 seasons of the show, this will have some major spoilers, and some of the references won’t make any sense. So hear me out. If Game of Thrones were applied to the 2016 election, I think this is how it would play out.
Last Monday when Bernie spoke to his delegates and got heavily booed in a pretty ugly scene, it seemed like the final scene of season 5. He’s like Jon Snow, idealistic, warning people about the White Walkers (which is really all about climate change, no really, it is), but is betrayed by a few members of the Night’s Watch. The BernieOrBusters turned on him and basically said, "For the Political Revolution" as they repeatedly stabbed him in the back despite his repeated pleas for unity.
On the GOP side, Trump's main challenger was someone playing to the religious fanatics in Ted Cruz, but he finally made the rest of the GOP bow to his will. Trump is like Cersei Lannister, and the RNC convention was like the season 6 finale, where he finally silenced all of his primary enemies.
We’re essentially at the end of season 6, though not all of the scenes have played out yet in real life. Here’s who each character would be in 2016.
- Daenerys Targaryen = Hillary Clinton
Coming from the former ruling family, it’s taken what seems like forever, but she’s finally headed towards the White House Throne again after a long journey in the wilderness. Breaker of Glass Ceilings. Really, really wants to rule. And based on what the GOP says about her, you’d think she has dragons waiting to lay waste to the land.
- Daario Naharis = Bill Clinton
Her lover, but someone she knows that as she takes this final journey, must keep at some distance, lest he become a distraction.
- Missandei = Huma Abedin
Close adviser to Hillary. Goes everywhere she goes.
- Grey Worm = Anthony Weiner
Huma’s lover. Fiercely loyal to Hillary as well. His penis has been a minor plot point.
- Jorah Mormont = Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Hillary supporter, but had to be banished from the DNC after those e-mails surfaced.
- Khal Drogo = James Carville
Former close associate of Hillary, not on her campaign this time around for some reason.
- Viserys Targaryen = Dick Morris
Former Clinton loyalist turned bad guy. Banished by Carville to Fox News to get his golden crown.
- Mero & Prendahl na Ghezn = Rick Lazio
Tried to take out Hillary early on. Failed miserably.
- Slavemasters of Yunkai = House GOP Benghazi Committee
Tried to take her out in the hearing earlier this season. You know who won that battle.
- Jon Snow = Bernie Sanders
Idealistic, knows that all this petty squabbling ignores the real threat of climate change. Mostly an afterthought in early seasons, has come on strong as a fan favorite.
- Night's Watch = Bernie delegates
Interesting mixture of longtime Democratic Party activists to newcomers from all walks of life, who view themselves as protectors of the realm. Includes some third party types and even some anarchists/ruffians who will almost certainly cause trouble for Jon Snow, I mean, Bernie.
- Alliser Thorne = Norman Solomon
Leader of the BernieOrBusters movement who organized against Bernie's wishes. Led the booing of Bernie last Monday, as his endorsing Hillary was a betrayal of the Night's Watch, and therefore he became the enemy who must be taken down as well. These betrayers only made up about 5% of Bernie delegates.
- Olly = Nina Turner
Key Bernie surrogate, rising star in the party, and someone you thought would be 100% loyal to Bernie, but joined with the BernieOrBusters.
- Samwell Tarly = Jeff Weaver
Longtime Bernie loyalist, main guy he listens to for advice.
- Dolorous Edd = Tad Devine
A newer character in Bernie's life, but someone Bernie came to trust as well.
- Tormund Giantsbane = Keith Ellison
Loyal Bernie supporter, but NOT one of the BernieOrBusters who betrayed him. Loathed by many in the realm, especially in House Bolton.
- Melisandre = Elizabeth Warren
Spoke at the DNC wearing red. Fans think she can perform magic on our economic system. Tried to heal the wounds between Bernie and his pissed off supporters. Could be a powerful ally for Bernie in the Senate, as long as she's not sent away into Hillary's Cabinet. (And, um, everyone thinks she's much younger than she really is. Saw someone think she was at least 20 years younger than Hillary, when they were actually born less than 2 years apart.)
- Maester Aemon Targaryen = Al Gore
Took himself out of the political game years ago. Wise old man who warns us of what's coming, but will we listen?
- Cersei Lannister = Donald Trump
Power hungry megalomaniac who chooses violence to solve conflicts. Utterly destroyed all his GOP primary enemies, culminating at the Sept of Cleveland, where they either pledged loyalty or were eliminated.
- Qyburn = Mike Pence
Plucked out of relative obscurity to become Trump's loyal servant. Unclear if he respects or fears Trump, or both.
- Myrcella Baratheon = Ivanka Trump
Trump's daughter, doesn't seem that evil. Could be a decent ruler one day, but Trump will cause her destruction before that happens.
- High Sparrow = Ted Cruz
Plays to the religious fanatics, though there's that part of you that wonders if it's all an act. Still, his followers seem pretty convinced of the act.
- Lancel Lannister = Carly Fiorina
Left the business wing of the GOP to join Cruz as his VP nominee. How'd that turn out?
- Jamie Lannister = John McCain
A complicated character, seen as both a hero and a villain. Picking Sarah Palin ultimately unleashed the monster that is Donald Trump. Is now looking at his party and thinking, “My God, what have I done?”
- Wildfire = Tea Party
A purely destructive force hellbent on death and destruction.
- Margaery Tyrell = John Kasich
Knew how to play the Game very well, and outlasted most of the field, to the surprise of many. Got in some good punches against Trump, mostly by beating him badly in Ohio. But still ultimately crushed when the RNC came to Cleveland.
- Kevan Lannister = Chris Christie
LOL, you thought kissing up to Cersei would save you?
- Olenna Tyrell = Michael Steele
Knew to get the hell out of the RNC before it all came crashing down.
- Mace Tyrell = Ben Carson
His mind-blowingly stupid and inane comments showed what a horrible leader he'd be.
- Grand Maester Pycelle = Newt Gingrich
The "intellectual" of the group, but just as scheming behind the scenes. Tried currying favor to get the VP pick, but Qyburn finished him off.
- Janos Slynt = Corey Lewandowski & Paul Manafort
Acted like tough bullies, but ultimately cowards, who were banished from King's Landing in a power play move.
- Ser Gregor Clegane = Steve Bannon
Takes over as Cersei's main protector. Sub-human deplorable monster.
- Septa Unella = Reince Priebus
Still around, initially castigated and “shamed” Trump for his horrible comments, but is now Trump’s prisoner and is slowly being tortured every day by Bannon in the dungeon.
- Joffrey Baratheon = David Duke
Someone with absolutely zero redeeming qualities about him. Pure evil.
- Renly Baratheon = Jeb Bush
Had a legitimate claim to the throne, but snuffed out early on by a dark, evil creature.
- Stannis Baratheon = Mitt Romney
Also had the money, came closer to being ruler than Renly. Devoted to a religion that isn't shared by most in the realm. Realized too late the monster Fox News had created in Trump was unstoppable, and that they would take him down as well as they pushed Trump to their viewing audience.
- Theon Greyjoy = Sherrod Brown
You'd think he'd be a Bernie supporter, but instead backed Daenerys. His home is in the Iron Islands, i.e., the Senate.
- Yara Greyjoy = Tim Kaine
Forms an alliance with Daenerys to more or less be her second in command.
- Balon Greyjoy = Harry Reid
Leader of the Senate, until...
- Euron Greyjoy = Mitch McConnell
... he was deposed by this guy.
- Ned Stark = John Boehner
Got his head chopped off by the Tea Party faction one too many times until he quit.
- Robb Stark = Kevin McCarthy
Everyone assumed he'd take over for Boehner, until the Benghazi comments. Walked right into that trap!
- Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish = Paul Ryan
Has risen to power surprisingly quickly. Condemned Trump's racism, but still endorses him, so what's his game here? Sometimes cheered, but generally not to be trusted.
- Arya Stark = Nancy Pelosi
Beloved character. Spent the last couple years in the wilderness, just waiting for her time to come back. You do NOT cross her. She has a list, and she will remember.
- Tyrion Lannister = Barack Obama
A decent ruler we maybe don't deserve. Loathed and spat upon by many in the realm because of his physical appearance. Incredibly smart and wise. Opponents consistently underestimate him, which is their downfall. Is 100% behind Daenerys taking the throne now.
- Sansa Stark = Michelle Obama
An innocent woman who's been horribly, horribly, horribly mistreated by Fox News and Roger Ailes. Oh, but she will get her revenge, just you wait. Married to Tyrion.
- Varys = Joe Biden
Tyrion's closest adviser.
- Walder Frey = Steve King
Another evil petty man with no redeeming qualities. Chickenhawk to the extreme.
- Brienne of Tarth = David Brock
Sword for hire. Now fiercely loyal to the Democrats, and will take the fight to the GOP.
- Doran Martell = Ron Paul
Doesn't want to fight, just wants "peace". How'd that work out for ya?
- Trystane Martell = Rand Paul
Doran's son. A weaker, more pathetic version of his father.
- Ellaria Sand = Gary Johnson
Oh hi, I'm just gonna swoop in here and take all your libertarian Dorne followers from your son.
- Three-Eyed Raven = Keith Olbermann
A wise man who can broadcast visions to the rest of us, but who is confined to sending out tweets now.
- Bran Stark = Lawrence O'Donnell
His time working in the Senate let him see how the sausage is really made. He can see these things others can't. Started as a substitute host for Olbermann before getting his own show. Has some of the most insightful visions of anyone on TV.
- Meera Reed = Rachel Maddow
Good pals with Lawrence.
- Jojen Reed = Chris Hayes
Also good pals with Lawrence, but rumors about his ratings may mean he may not be for the cable news world much longer.
- Hodor = Ed Schultz
Huge man, physically imposing, and could snap Bill O'Reilly's arguments in half. Ultimately sacrificed to our horror and anger as the others escaped the axe at MSNBC.
- Benjen Stark = Evan Bayh
This guy disappeared for six years before suddenly making a surprise comeback just in the nick of time to perhaps take back the Senate.
- Roose Bolton = Rupert Murdoch
Commands a vast empire. Always gets his way. His channel was where Kevin McCarthy gave the infamous interview that destroyed his chance at the Speakership.
- Ramsay Bolton = Roger Ailes
Evil man, treats women horribly. Kept gaining more and more power, until...
- Ramsay Bolton's dogs = Gretchen Carlson, Megyn Kelly, etc.
... his own employees turned on him and devoured him after he kept mistreating them.
- Locke = Bill O'Reilly
Hired hand for the Boltons.
- Miranda = Sean Hannity
Another hired hand for the Boltons, but with a more evil streak to him.
- Smalljon Umber = Jill Stein
Doing everything she can to get Donald Trump elected now. Pretended to be Bernie's friend before betraying him as well.
- Lyanna Mormont = Maxine Waters
She speaks harshly, and truly. She gets it.
- Craster = Julian Assange
This person from a foreign land was thought to be an ally, albeit problematic, until it was discovered he was actually helping out the Night’s King in secret.
- Bronn = James Comey
Has helped out both Tyrion and Cersei in the past. Did almost take out Daenerys for good by hitting Drogon with the spear.
- White Walkers = climate change/Russian trolls
No, really, they are. Also the online trolls spreading misinformation, as well as those Americans who fell for the “fake news” and are now spewing forth Russian propaganda and doing Putin’s bidding without ever realizing it.
- Night’s King = Vladimir Putin
C’mon, he even looks the same. Leading the troll army in his ultimate quest to destabilize the world so Russia can become the world’s leading superpower, with all of us bowing down to him.
