Last night, Bill Maher had a final New Rule on the “laboratories of democracy” that show the experiment’s results are in, and that Kansas and Louisiana have failed the test.
Full transcript and video below the fold.
And finally, New Rule: If Republicans are going to keep calling states laboratories of democracy, they have to start looking at the results from the lab. California raised taxes on the wealthy — a lot — and our economy is booming. We just passed France and India to become all by ourselves the world’s 6th largest economy. Soon to be 5th, thanks England! (audience cheering and applause)
Whereas states like Kansas and Louisiana that went back to the trickle down theory of “cut taxes on the rich and they’ll always do the right thing” are financial catastrophes. The results from the lab are in — our mice are thriving, yours are dead. (audience laughter and applause)
Now they say the definition of insanity is trying th same thing over and over and expecting different results, but I’m beginning to think that’s actually the definition of being a conservative. Because it’s not like we haven’t tried trickle down before, many times; it’s not new.
Despite the fact that when he took office, Kansas Governor Sam Brownback (R) said, “we’ve got a different way, and it works.”
And by “works,” he meant it works the night shift at Del Taco. (audience laughter) Yes, somehow, for the millionth time, when rich folks got a big tax cut, they pocketed it. And now Kansas is in a recession with a huge deficit. The band Kansas has more money. (audience laughter and applause)
Down in Louisiana, Bobby Jindal (R) tried the same stupid thing that Brownback did, and big surprise, the same result — a $1 billion dollar surplus became a $2 billion dollar deficit, and now everything’s getting cut. Because apparently, when you take in less money, you have less money to spend. Crazy! I guess you aren’t richer, the less cash you have. Unless you’re Donald Trump.
OK, so now let’s travel west to the laboratory called California, which, not that long ago, was being called an “economic basket-case.” Unmanageable, they said. A failed state. But this is when we had either Republican-led legislatures or a Republican governor.
Who turned out to be such a disaster, even his maid said, “I can’t believe I fucked that guy!” (audience laughter and cheering)
And here’s the part where the experiment becomes crystal clear. Because after Arnold left office, we eliminated what scientists would call “variables” — in this case, the Republicans. (audience laughter) Democrats, from Governor on down, control every office and voting body in this state. So we can really study what happens when liberal policies are tried unimpeded.
And the only thing I have to say to Republicans about that is, scoreboard, bitches!!! (wild audience cheering and applause)
Republicans claimed cap-and-trade would drive up utility bills, but our electricity tab is now among the cheapest in the country! And I ought to know, because I use a lot of juice in my basement to grow my… orchids. (audience laughter) My orchids!
California gave illegal immigrants driver’s licenses and college tuition, and conservatives said encouraging immigrants like that would destroy the economy. But it didn’t! Immigrants just take jobs Americans don’t want to do — like raising their children. (audience cheering and applause)
So maybe we are being invaded by Latinos and Asians, but it’s not making us weaker. It’s making us hotter. (audience laughter)
We did all the stuff conservatives warned us would make things even worse. But the sky didn’t fall. Unemployment did. And growth shot up to over 4%. And a $26 billion dollar deficit became an $11 billion dollar surplus. (audience cheering and applause) For a rainy day, whatever that is! (audience laughter)
And that is mostly because we — horror of horrors — raised taxes on the rich. Fox News said we were insane, that the rich would flee the state! I mean, what does Laguna Beach have
for wealthy people that they can’t find in Nebraska?
(audience laughter and applause)
Folks, if states are laboratories of democracy, why are we wasting time replicating failed experiments? I thought the idea behind science is that you try something, and if it doesn’t work, you try something else. You run these experiments, so you can see which ones work. And the ones that do, are replicated to other states. And the ones that don’t, are sent to Florida.